Orange County Register

These are definitely the reviews that we least enjoy writing: Independent, clean, friendly spots with just flat-out terrible food that we have no choice but to vigorously denounce.

The culprit in this case is Harry’s Grill, which was rec’d in the hole-in-the-wall thread, and which caught our eye because of its rooftop terrace featuring a peekaboo ocean view.

Showing up on a Saturday morning, things seemed promising - a decent crowd, spotless floors, no wait when we ordered at the counter. We took a seat on the upper-level patio, where diners are surrounded by multimillion-dollar homes and seated within sight of sand and surf.

Everything was perfect, and then the food came.

I had chosen the $6.99 breakfast of corned beef hash, three eggs and hash browns. As soon as the plate hit the table, I felt a queasiness worthy of Sartre.

No question about it, this looked to be seared Alpo, more appropriately called corned beef mash than corned beef hash.The cooks had quite literally pureed the (remarkably bland) corned beef and scooped it onto the griddle, where the meaty gruel developed a thin crust before being served warm, but not hot.

Corned beef hash, if you’re not familiar with it, is supposed to be about 50 percent finely chopped (not blended) beef and 50 percent finely chopped potatoes, minus a few percent for onions and spices.

I tried to salvage the beef by mixing it with the potatoes, but that was just like mixing wet Puppy Chow with Kibbles & Bits - it was drier, but still not fit for human consumption. Long story short, this grub would be more at home in a bowl on the floor than a plate on the table.

If it were just the terribad corned beef, Harry’s could be forgiven, but they also managed to churn out a wildly ungood, $4.49 vegetarian breakfast burrito. Notice that the burrito is vegetarian, not veggie. That means eggs, cheese, potatoes and an obligatory tiny scoop of shrooms and tomatoes. You’d think those ingredients would at least be solid comfort food, but it was so boring and bland that I was ready to go back to bed.

Again, really hate to shred a place in this way, but I have to be honest. And the truth is, you can come to Harry’s Grill for the view, but unless you’re channeling your inner canine, go somewhere else for the food.

Harry’s Grill
16685 Pacific Coast Highway
Sunset Beach
562-592-9500

More haterade to quench your thirst:

• Yummy croissants, but bring your pajamas to Jolanda’s
• Marmalade Cafe, please go back to L.A.
• Crystal Cove’s date shake: Totally overrated?
• Hello, Bonjour Cafe, we need to talk
• Lamenting the loss of a beloved meatloaf sandwich

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